W and J (An Absurdist Scene)

A white room, maybe. A crowd is gathered. They are constantly moving.

Any time.

Two men begin talking. One is looking for something. The other is reluctant to assist.


J:
(uneasily). I don't know if it is here. Do you see it?

W:
(unconcerned, with his head down). I don't know.

J:
(gesturing). Well, you are looking at something.

W:
Yes, but I cannot describe it to you.

J:
Well, I am in the same place as you. If I describe what I see, can you confirm what I'm seeing? That might be helpful.

W:
(reluctant). I don't know. Maybe.

J:
Come on. All you have to do is say yes or no. Let me know if I find what I am looking for. It isn't that hard.

W:
I guess I could help. I have nothing else to do.

J:
OK, I'll try then.


J:
I see a number of melons. If I tried to gather them up, I could barely hold them together in my arms. One might fall to the ground.

W:
How ripe are these melons?

J:
Just about ripe enough to be eaten. We could eat them tomorrow.

W:
I'm not hungry.

J:
Well you probably will be tomorrow.

W:
I doubt it.

J:
(frustrated). Do you even see the melons?

W:
No.


W:
(still looking at the ground). I still don't see the point of this.

J:
I am trying to find something. Is that so hard to understand?

W:
(confused). Why did you start talking about melons then?

J:
Because that is what I see over there! You don't see them?

W:
I already said I didn't.

J:
(angry). Great. We can't even agree on this one thing. How am I ever going to find what I am looking for? It is impossible! Like pushing one of these melons through a garden hose.

W:
Do you see a hose? I don't see a hose.


Later.

J:
Oh! I remember something!

W:
What is it?

J:
The thing I am looking for! It is about this tall (gestures to W).

W:
Do you know any of the other dimensions?

J:
No. Just this one for now.

W:
How do you that is the height? You could be seeing what you're looking for on its side so its width is the height and now, seeing incorrectly, you have an inaccurate image in your head of what you're searching for. That could hurt you more than it helps.

J:
(defeated). OK, you're right.


Even later.

W:
Yes, finally!

J:
Oh, now you know something. What is it?

W:
I see something!

J:
What do you see?

W:
I see the melons you were mentioning earlier. I guess we weren't actually looking at the same thing then. These melons are quite shiny. I see the light reflecting off of them, the glare.

J:
I followed your eyes to the ground. I knew where you were looking. How did you not see them before?

W:
I guess I was thinking about something else. Or maybe I didn't know what you meant by the word "melon."

J:
(exasperated). How are we supposed to get anywhere interesting if we can't even agree on our initial surroundings? I have a feeling this isn't going to be very productive. I will probably never find what I am looking for.

W:
I still don't see the garden hose. Where is the hose?

J:
There is no hose! That was a figure of speech I used earlier. Some things are real and some things are only language.

W:
I don't follow.

J:
Well, there is reality, an external space we both inhabit simultaneously. I can't communicate directly about this place so I use language to describe what I am experiencing. Language is both visual and oral. (...) Is this even making sense?

W:
Yes. (now excited). Yes! I get what you're saying, finally. So you're looking for something that looks like this? (gestures again to J).

J:
That is close. I think I am looking for something that is more like this. (motions with hands in response to W).


For a number of moments, both are silent, only moving their hands furiously in an effort to communicate.

W:
Oh! I finally get it.

J:
Do you really? Or are you just saying that?

W:
No, I understand. Once you started gesturing, I understood.

J:
So you know what I am looking for? What I am trying to achieve?

W:
If I understand you correctly, then yes.

J:
Do you see it? Can you point me in the right direction?

W:
Towards what?

J:
(annoyed). The thing I am looking for! The one we just talked about with our hands.

W:
Oh, of course. It is over there. (points and smiles).


J:
Where?!

W:
Right over there! You don't see it?

J:
No, I don't. Where is it?

W:
Not the melons, keep looking past the melons. Just look.

J:
(quickly excited). Oh! (now cool again). Well, what do you know, it was right here in front of me the entire time. It is so close. I wonder how I could have missed it.

W:
I know. How did you not see it just then?

J:
How did you not know what I was looking for earlier?

W and J:
(together). I don't know.

J:
Well, at least we can agree on something.

W:
And what is that?


J:
(pauses). You know, I forgot too.

W:
Oh well. At least we both see the same thing.

J:
I'm glad we both see it. Finally.

W:
It took a while, but here we are.

J:
Now, if only we could describe what we both see.

W:
That would take some time, I think.

J:
True. (sighs). It sure is beautiful though, even though we can't describe it at all.

W:
Yeah.

J:
Yeah.

Both are silent again. The crowd moves forward. The two speakers are lost from sight.

dordrecht & de biesbosch

tuesday was the first day i had to wear my winter coat here. it was also my studio mid-review with winy maas. i had my slides together and presented what i thought was a coherent logic to back up my project. overall i don't think it was too successful. at the end there was a long almost heated discussion in which i didn't participate about the scope and dream of the studio. we have since had to refocus our ideas and waste even more time on "research." needless to say i think it has been frustrating. the problems of the studio and my problems with the studio are too numerous and intricate to detail online and i have spent enough time examining them in my head to summarize here.

today is saturday. last night there was a party on the floor below mine in the student house. you know it is a good party when you leave the house the next morning and have to avoid the patches of vomit on the patio outside. today was also one of the shittiest days on record, the kind where you become conscious, hear the shallow rain on your window, and go back to sleep. but i really wanted to get out of delft for a while so i put on my winter jacket and decided to go to dordrecht and bike out to de biesbosch, a national park of wetlands in the delta of the maas river east of the city.

dordrecht isn't much to write home about. the centrum area was nice with shops, tight streets, and wide canals where sailboats were tied. unlike antwerpen, the riverfront areas were mostly redeveloped with large apartment blocks. just east of downtown new apartment developments took over, right up to the water's edge. i arrived in the middle of the afternoon and it was raining lightly the whole time. it was cold and raining and i was on my bike so there are no pictures of dordrecht for you to see.

when you start biking out of the center, you pass through all of the new apartment buildings, stacked on the south side and glassed on the north. then the industrial part of town takes over along the river. the large docks are the striking feature on google maps, but by road you only see silos, knots of pipes, cooling towers, smokestacks, warehouses, and a dupont sign. there was construction on the road to the park and i accidentally got turned around and rode across a railroad bridge across the river towards sliedrecht before reorienting and coming back in the right direction. it was pretty miserable riding but i kept going because i wanted to see the place and do something instead of sitting in my room like i always do and like i am doing now.

on the way to the national park, you pass a golf course whose fairways are mostly under the tall trusses of high voltage cables. in a few minutes you pass an electricity substation with thick concrete walls and a sawing type of electric hum. there was another industrial port on the left and then, within 5 minutes, you're past the stayokay hostel and in the park. national parks in america are considered to be isolated places of preservation. here it is another function that is layered closely on the land, abutting other types of uses casually. to be fair, most of the park was across the river, accessible by ferry, but the tight change of use in this area was surprising. maybe this is a result of there being so little land to start with. regardless i pulled my bike into the visitor's center and browsed around for a bit, waiting for my jacket to dry and the sweat on my back to evaporate.

i was lucky because as i started to walk the short loop, the rain had let up and the sun poked through the haze for an hour. it was nice to be walking around in the midst of this natural setting. i am the type of person that needs to do this frequently to recharge and sharpen my mind. even if it is a short nature trail in a park for an hour, it helps me to center myself, breathe, and appreciate this place where we live. i've done it this semester in the parks of london, in the dunes of haarlem, and on the beach at scheveningen. beyond that, i really enjoy wetlands. this one reminded me a bit of blackwater national wildlife refuge in maryland. wetlands are essential lungs of water ecosystems. one thing i've missed since coming to MIT is the lack of camping and wilderness in my life. anyway, it was nice to spend 90 minutes walking a few kilometers in this park.

then, about halfway through the walk, i realized that this isn't nature at all. i was walking on an embankment that is part of the polder system used to drain the land. to my left were low fields with sheep and horses. i passed a barn with rusting tools in the front. signs frequently dotted the canal above the reeds, directly boats where to go. later i passed a lock or bridge. trees were planted in straight lines at regular intervals along the walking path. towards the end of my walk i hung out with some chickens, peacocks, and a small drenched horse. beyond the rustling stalks i could see barges loaded with containers steaming upriver. this area is productive land that happened to have a footpath running through it. i don't know how the public/private land rights work in holland but it is certainly mixed within this park.

in fact, de biesbosch is really a polder museum that happens to be gorgeous. it is still nature, just nature frozen at a later date than most natural parks. the natural/artificial dichotomy is one i've been thinking about constantly this semester, both in my studio about automation and independently. humans have lived in some places so long that their mark on the land is inseparable from anything that was there before. and humans are biological themselves so how is anything we make distinctly unnatural? we are arranging elements in increasing complex arrays and disrupting ecosystems with high concentrations of metals and compounds that were previously deep inside the earth, but this doesn't mean it isn't natural. it is dangerous and destructive but not unnatural.

this argument that humans are natural beings so their creations are natural is well-trodden (i don't have more sophisticated meditations to share with you in blogland) and in turn can be used to support current methods of production. instead i think it highlights how blurry the boundary is. i used to side more with the crunchy granola AT-hiking hippies on issues like this but after time at a tech school and more thought i still don't support total technologizing but am somewhere in the fuzzy middle. both ends of the spectrum are too extreme to deliver any promising solutions. unfortunately the answer probably lies somewhere in the middle wrapped in questions of scale, application, and lifecycles that are too complex for us to work out. yesterday at dinner, i was rereading an essay by gary snyder in "turtle island," written in 1969, where he advocates population reduction through polyandrous marriage but is severely against nuclear power. this was probably because reliable information on nuclear power wasn't available and everybody was scared shitless in the cold war.

but did you know that only 20% of the radioactive uranium you will probably be exposed to in your lifetime is from anthropogenic sources? it is a somewhat common, naturally occurring substance in the earth and groundwater. sunflowers are naturally efficient at uranium removal from tainted groundwater. after chernobyl they planted sunflowers on rafts to remove uranium from the water. while these are low levels of radioactivity that aren't going to make your children grow three legs, it is still an example of an element that is considered to be a human pollutant in the natural world that is, in fact, quite natural itself. again the question is a level of concentration that makes it unnatural and that is a more difficult question than a binary yes or no answer. there is a recent interview on BLDGBLOG with the designer of the yucca mountain repository that is very insightful.

anyway, the point is that environmental modification isn't the end of the world, but it comes down to a difficult question of scale and concentration. shoot, look at the banana, for one brief example. tons of species have destroyed their habitat before us and have suffered the consequences. coyotes overhunt does and later starve. giraffes grew longer necks because there were no leaves left on the lower branches. iraq used to be the fertile crescent. in the future we will resemble dinosaurs.

and, if it makes any difference, nature doesn't give a shit about the natural/artificial distinction. birds nest in the As of wal-mart. long-legged cranes pick through open landfills looking for scraps of crusted mcdonalds hamburger buns. in the concrete basin of the los angeles river, trees grow in the cracks and shrubs spring up next to the abandoned shopping cart that has parted the waters and allowed life to spring forth. maybe another word for natural should be indifferent.









i found my bike again as the sun was falling off the earth. the ride back to dordrecht seemed shorter but it started raining again, harder than before. the dupont refineries were already glowing, still belching smoke. by the time i got back to the city it was mostly dark and still drizzling. after riding around a bit more and finding nothing interesting, i caught a train back to delft to spend the night in solitude. i might do laundry too.

frustration

first, it is annoying that the internet knows i am in the netherlands. google and its myriad sites are always displayed in dutch because of my IP address. when i search in google most of the first hits are in dutch (and if there is a wikipedia page, it is usually in dutch). on an intellectual level it is nice to be bombarded with so much new vocabulary, but it makes things take that much faster to try to translate or to switch to an english version of a site.

second, adjusting to the dutch education system has been bumpy. i suspect that most european countries have the same vibe, but the set-up is so laid back and student-driven. students usually take time off and are so casual about school. the attitude i've seen is very much about lifestyle and remembering to have a good time. administrators during the registration day even mentioned spending time on "relaxing" and "having a good time," terms i am not too comfortable with given my experience at MIT. the faculty building, for example, is only open until 10 pm (i don't know about weekends). a friend said he was in the middle of the discussion portion of a lecture and the building staff kicked them out of the building in order to lock up. i'll save my praise and concerns for the faculty of architecture for a later post when i have documentation to back up my claims. the system here is student-driven; he or she has to speak out and ask for help or information in order to grow.

anyways, today was scheduled to be my first day of class. i registered, as suggested, for one main studio, two supplemental classes, and a half-term philosophy of architecture class that meets in the second part of the semester. i think i will try to take an additional drawing course to fill time and get as much as i can out of the formal academic experience here.

i am getting carried away. so my first class was scheduled to occur from 8:45 until 12:45 and then the first meeting of the studio course in the afternoon, 1:45 until 5:45. i made the mistake last night of having a cappuccino around 10 so i was wired until at least 2 or 3 in the morning, rolling around with my mind spinning and thinking about thousands of things. i pull myself out of bed and get to school around 8:40, eating a chocolade broodje on my way over the bridge to campus, really surprised i actually got up on time.

the course was supposed to meet in room Z (they have an assortment of main rooms and then secondary rooms are lettered A-Z and even less important rooms receive an actual room number). i double-checked the room number with the information desk (not very informative) before arriving around 8:48 to a tiny empty classroom on the 2nd floor. i wandered around near the department that is teaching the class (the office wasn't open yet) before checking the room and surrounding rooms again. i used a school computer to check my email. i talk to the secretary in the DSD (delft school of design) office who doesn't know what is going on and thinks the class should be in that classroom. she takes me up to the mountain (will explain "the mountain" in the aforementioned post about the facilities) but the PhD student there doesn't really know what is going on. i sit around near room Z for a while before deciding that this is stupid. i return to the mountain for a final check before going to the library to check out the collection before my class at 1 (it is now like 10:30). two PhD students are there now. upon talking to them, i learn that DSD classes don't start until NEXT WEEK and that there is a meeting on friday to give out information. NEXT WEEK. i am at once really angry that i didn't get that email (i wasn't officially registered yet by the time it was sent on friday but the main organizer did know i was in the program) and spent so much mental energy preparing to be back in school now and pleased that i get another 5 days to do what i want before the term begins.

why didn't the secretary know that the classes were not starting yet? maybe she didn't understand my question? anyways, i emailed the organizer-dude and he apologized and confirmed that we didn't meet until friday. after that fiasco i went to check out the bibliotheek (collection is seriously weak, but most of it was lost in the fire in 2008, so there is some forgiveness). ended up dozing a bit in the library before going home to take care of other things.

but yes, another 6 or so days with no class. things to do include a major overhaul of jean-paul's bike, trips to other cities (utrecht? haarlem? eindhoven? brussels? the beach?), opening a bank account, drawing, cooking, and finally buying shoes. upcoming posts include photos of my environs and a comparison of the architecture departments at MIT and TUD.